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August 9th
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RELAX. I'm very chill meaning I'll sit back and listen to you make an ass outta urself...and just laugh at you. I observe people and by doing so I have my own take on who you are by the way you carry yourself, treat those around you, and in the way you converse with them.

I may come off as bitchy or quiet to others, but my personality mixes better with people of a certain type of personality. If we click...thats some pretty great stuff. Other times it just takes time for me to get to know who you are before I'll get along with you and just bullshit.

First impressions count a lot eventhough sometimes they are way off. Either way first impression is my first observation of you so..ofcourse thats going to matter to me.

When it comes to work...I am a diligent worker as long as I'm interested in the subject matter. If not, then I'm one lazy ass bum who procrastinates like thers no tomorrow.

The whole popularity, who knows who crap isn't my thing. I've got a close group of friends which is more than enough for myself. They've all proven themselves to me ten times over so, I know I've got a good core. HOWever, I'm always up for meeting new people and possibly new friendships.

Originality. Be yourself. The most unattractive quality in a person is their inability to be true to themselves and their individual personalities. We are all different...not to say we dont have similar interests, tastes, etc, but there is definitely a difference in KNOWING who you are versus living the life of someone who you THINK you are.

Vulgarity. It happens, it's just really ugly. When every other word you speak is a curse word then there's something wrong with you.

Common sense mengz. COMMON SENSE. If the pot is hot dont poke it! yeah thats right...that kind of stuff. You're intelligent God gave you a brain sweethearts, so put it to good use.

Do you smoke? yea? oh that sucks cuz now I'm not going to be nice to you. I cant make you stop...but I'll nag you about it. Change doesnt happen because people MAKE you. Change comes from within.

HIPPOS! Yeah yeah, I'm a hypocrite, I KNOW. Don't expect respect if you cant stay true to the words that come out of your mouth. If its all talk and no walk...yeah, think about it.

Promises are meant to be broken. So if that is your mentality dont make promises to me. That is something meant to be taken seriously...don't shake the trust. It's tough to earn back..if you're lucky enough to get the second chance.


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Thursday, October 09, 2008
I have neglected...
wow... my last post here was from so long ago. FUnny how things change so quickly and blogs can be easily forgotten =/ ohwelz.. Life has been so different. I am more independent, I have a job, a car, my happiness. Idk... LIFE IS GOOD XD

Posted at 08:55 pm by stupidlyinsane
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Saturday, November 11, 2006
HULK nippies
errr i thought this was a rather interesting picture....well what more is there to say lol the picture says it ALLL click for more funnY! thats all i wish to share today guys =b ill write more next time =b

Posted at 08:56 pm by stupidlyinsane
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Wednesday, October 25, 2006
you can never escape..
these are the years when we are supposed to be having the time of our lifes right? okay, so with that as my it really right putting a friendship in danger to fullfil this? I really dont think so. Funny how the same things always reoccur in my life, then agen, not really. I suppose its the same cycle in every person's life...only because I'm almost 100% sure that we all go through these phases in life..whether or not you are a late bloomer...or the type to mature at an early age.

It's funny how the world changes color when you become more educated about things and discover the deepest secrets of whomever confides in you... the world turns to gray...and yep you are screwd. But hey that isnt to say that this happens for everyone, I'm just pretty sure it whatever extent imaginable.

Let's just say that I'm pretty damn proud that I'm not a late bloomer in this instance. sigh* then agen, innocence is lost now a days... and it'd be nice to see more of it...where it SHOULD BE. <--- I wont get started on that topic though, because I'll be here all morning, and I need to get my ass to school soon. hehehe.

excerpt taken from someone who i would definitely consider a hypocrite...but i admit this was insightful...and most likely not written by her/him... haha

Life isn't about keeping score.
It's not about how many people call you
and its not about whom you've dated are
dating or haven't dated at all. It isn't about
whom you've kissed, what sport you play
or which guy or girl likes you. It's not about
your shoes or your hair or the color of your
skin or where you live or go to school. In fact,
not about grades, money, clothes or colleges
that accept you or not. Life isn't about if you
have lots of friends or if you are alone and it's
not about how accepted or unaccepted you are.
Life just isn't about that, but life is about whom
you love and whom you hurt. It is about how you
feel about yourself. It is about trust, happiness
and compassion. It is about sticking up for your
friends and replacing inner hate with love.
Life is about avoiding jealousy, overcoming
ignorance and building confidence.
It is about what you say and what you mean.
It is about seeing people for who they truly are
and not what they have. most of all, it is about
choosing to use your life to touch someone else's
in a way that could never have been achieved

Posted at 04:24 am by stupidlyinsane
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Friday, October 20, 2006
so I'm back to blogdrive...
I can't believe I forgot about this thing completely! How bad is that? =( anyways I have returned for the time being and I have updated the layout and pictures, etc. Blogdrive is has a lot more to it now compared to when I first started...thats awesome!

So what exactly is there to talk about here....right now.. hm

LIFE basically? hm, yeah.

update on my life lets see...

within the past year or so so much has changed in me. My mentality making up a large part of the change. I regret to say that it is true that I was so self concious it came to the point where I was paranoid everytime I stepped out of my house. I used to think...they're all judging me, they all think I'm ugly or not pretty enough. Thankfully, through last year and this year, I've become more confident in myself. To the certain extent where I can stare somebody in the face without those same thoughts of paranoia. I'm so glad that is gone. Oh, but that isnt to say it hasnt completely gone away. There are always the "ugly" days, when you'd love to just curl up into a ball and hide from the world because you feel icky.

As for the relationship aspect of things, there is infact a significant other. However, that relationship is just at the very very beginning of things, ofcourse time is needed to develop a more serious level of care, and possibly real love... and I do emphasize real for a reason. This is a reason which will be discussed in later blogs, but seeing as this is just a semintroduction to the "new" me, I'll refrain from exposing any of my dirty laundry, for now.

I think this is where I will leave the world for today and find myself some much needed R&R.

Goodnight world I will see you all in the AM :smiles:

Posted at 10:48 pm by stupidlyinsane
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Thursday, February 02, 2006
the game of love
things like these dont usually happen...but surprise surprise..yep.of all people to ask me it had to be the person he despises the most...isnt that the most wonderful thing on earth? pfft..jus fabulous! well you know what? whatever...because nothing was going to happen in the first place BECAUSE although i am not. This is what i've chosen and i doubt that anything will make me change my mind. Nothing can compare to the guy i've got my eyes and heart on =) MINE YO MINE Xb well maybe i shouldnt say that just now... but from what i know and what i see... things will happen when they happen no worries. it has been a while since i have felt this way...strangely enough...with the same person. It's completely different from what was so long ago nd yet i look back on those times and remember all that was...most of which was bad. However, I don't regret what i did...because first of all there is nothing i can do about it anymore and secondly because i did not have a clue about what i had to do or what i should have done. we've matured and yet we are so immature... thats just how it is i guess i won't lie...i Love what's happening right now..previous years have just helped put things into perspective for both of us. Thank God for that.. thank God for the hurt i went through..for the confusion...the tears i've shed...the tears i didnt...words spoken and unspoken...stolen glances...and wistful thinking...for the last and first moments of my year all the pain was erased from my memory

Posted at 04:20 pm by stupidlyinsane
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Saturday, January 21, 2006

Infinitum Nihil

another name, good stuff..had to search high and low to get the spelling for this LOL!! but yeah its worth it in the end ofcourse.

life sux i miss him a lot but im trying not to call too much because after all we arent going out. and also the fact that wen he's with friends he cant talk to me caus he's busy and i dont mind i jus mind that once in a while he give the effort to give me a call...bleh im impatient..gRR no im not impatient..i jus cant take the anticipation of being with him. w/e its kool because for now i will just have to step back.

Posted at 11:02 am by stupidlyinsane
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Thursday, January 12, 2006
love sick.

this was a message i was sent by a friend named rafa =) in reply to a bulletin quiz i posted up..


1. i cant tell you who it is..only because no one is supposed to know but i'll giv you a hint..its DEFINITELY someone you know...but  he is not a close CLOSE friend.
2. its not that you NEVER know anything its jus this one i cant tell anyone about..its one of those  ready but im gna take it step by step and we'll see what happens...

In another sense i know that somthing will definitely happen howevr... if it doesnt..pretty soon..then im gna give up...and try to move on eventhough i already know that this will never happen because the feelings are mutual. You have no idea how happy I am when im around this guy. When im not around him or not talking to him I'm always anticipating the moment when i will be able to see him. EVEN IF it is for only a few nano seconds XD im a fool..this I know. This with him  is a first, atleast for myself. On the other hand its a first for him as well. Everything he is feeling about "us" is new and he admitted that he is liking it. I Love the fact that he isnt afraid to be himself around me. I Love the fact that he can open up to me and be "mushy". I Love the fact that I can make him smile by just staring at him and grinning. I love how he kisses me. I love how, when we're together he can't go 2 mins w/o holding me or kissing me no matter how many times i push him away. I love how he says "I need you " "I miss you" " I think I'm falling for you" and Hey! I'm not complaining! =) , im so impatient!!! aRgh..well not really impatient..more like, it is just the whole im NOT there to hold him and hug him and be there and just hang out with him. kiss him, etc... blahh... But at the same time I also realize that i NEED to be patient because HE is the one who needs the time to accustom himself to what has been happening. I'm not going to force him to be with me if he isnt ready (eventhough i would love more than anything for him to ask me out ALREADY!) so in a way...if this is going to be helpful to "us" in the end..then i'll wait...and i'll let myself hurt everytime i see him walk away. He made the 15 years of LONELY new years eves worth it to wait until now.
this one is def. something different...something that really does mean SOMETHING, and at the end of every day all i need is his voice before i sleep and i am the happiest person on earth.
dare i say....

I think this one has me head over heels (~.~)



~this from hEr =)

1.who do you like?
2. why do i never know anything?
3. ¢¾

Posted at 03:05 pm by stupidlyinsane
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Thursday, December 29, 2005

so much is going on in jus a few days..its kinda scary but at the same time... im happy evrything is happening.. since this is a diary thing..i guess i hav nothing to lose wen it comes to spilling my guts.

apparently its really hard for some people to open up and well i hope that IF i am apart of this "change" in him that its a good actually quite happy about it because a different side of him is coming out...and im liking that side of him. i feel bad wen i say that it disappoints me when he isnt true to himself...and how he puts up a front w/ almost everyone. I understand why he would do that. its because of the whole pride/macho/"because im cool" thing. well i say i understand but it still puzzles me WHY anyone has to be like that. i have NEVER seen this side of him... i wna find out wat's makin it come out...and how come only now?

he says that its not a bad thing..and hey thats good and all gravy..but the fact that the way he is acting is "new" to him and that he's noticing it is what i think scares him just a lil. i hope in da future he'll b able to let more of this side out..hopefully to me.
and i did somthing yesterday i nevr thought i'd b able to do again..i kissed him. and it was nice. it was really nice...i wna do it again...however, im not too sure about whether or not right now is the best time to do anything like that. but it was sOoo nice  URGggghHH!!! hahaha i couldve kissed him more..jus i duno. i'd do it all over again....but would i? sigh* silly boys

this whole guy thing its kinda un-nerving me right now...because its not the first time...i dont understand how it happens or why it happens but this has happened w/ more than one started with joseph, and then joey r. and now HIM... i duno i dnt like playing with people and their feelings and i hope that isnt the case this time. but i kno that in this case im not playin around....because...i know...

Posted at 09:17 pm by stupidlyinsane
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Tuesday, December 20, 2005

oh my dear hert yung je-su sweit
prepare thy credil in my spreit
and i sall rock thee to my hert
and never mair from thee depart

but i sall praise thee evermoir
with sunges sweit unto thy gloir
the knees of my hert sall i bow
sall i bow

And sing that richt balulaow!
and sing lu la low
and sing......
Lu lalow Lu Lalow La low.


haha good song...well its fun to sing w/ a choir and hey..i got da SOLO PARt kinda happy but not really Lolz


Posted at 06:25 pm by stupidlyinsane
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Sunday, December 18, 2005
absolutely zero

:listening to jason Mraz Absolutely Zero:

i dont understand why i let people affect me so much...why cant i be who i am without having to worry so much about whethr or not im on good terms with someone. why am i so weak that i cant evn spill how i feel to their face..why caus they dont giv a why should i? thing is..that i cant help but give a shit..thats jus the kind of person i a fuckin push over. there really isnt anything i can do about it. which really sucks...its all because when i was little..i blame it on that..because if not for that i wouldnt be the same...i'd hav a heck of alot more confidence in myself. then again who wants to know? i wouldnt  psHh...

its the people i associate myself well as those who associate themselves with me. get over the group of people i consider my friends...because apparently they really arent..atleast a few of them...i'll detach myself.......and when they start to ask questions..will i answer...ofcourse not..because i wont be there. Im always there for them...only a few are there for me. so screw the rest of you. im tired of being nice to evry1. who knoes maybe this is the year i'll either turn into the biggest bitch...or the gurl u regret u'd lost as a friend. so tired of your bullshit.


"so who am i to say this situation isnt great, but its my time to make the most of it how could we ever know that this would happen to me,  not that easy."

Posted at 05:08 am by stupidlyinsane
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